Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
