pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
