I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
