I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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