I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize