I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
