My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
