Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
