dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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