You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
