I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
