I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
nutella sex= disaster
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Idk if I want to put a bra on
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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