bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
