I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
