I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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