Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
