break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
