is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
