Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize