ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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