I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize