there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
