the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
