OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Randomize
