i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
