Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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