Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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