u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
