If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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