im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
