kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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