Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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