last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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