My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
