Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
