for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize