he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
