I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she smelled like a LAN party
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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