So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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