I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
