that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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