glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
