dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
