he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
