he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize