So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
