I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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