in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize