very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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