Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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