I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
