I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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