i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This toilet bowl is my home.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
