So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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