what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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