i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
