Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
