your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
