Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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