I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
