The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize