i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
no, he came in my armpit
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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