i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
