I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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