he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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