Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
